Oh heavens.

Disclaimers:
#1--This blog post does not have pictures. It would have been ugly.

#2--I am not openly degrading a certain child of mine. Just simply explaining how I survived the morning thus far.

#3--Our Walmart trips up to this point have SERIOUSLY been successful and very non-eventful.


Okay...here we go.

This morning started like any other morning at our house. In fact, having had a rough last couple of days--this one seemed especially positive. We ate breakfast with no fits, got dressed, and got ready with smiles on our faces. We eagerly looked forward to our every-other-week Walmart trip.

About 9:00 we all piled into the car. (Minus Joel) We drove the 4 miles singing songs and enjoying each others company. My list was in my pocket...we were ready. Upon arriving, we unloaded, walked into the store, and found that there were no giant shopping carts to our right. (You know, the long ones that fit 7 children easily? Yeah. We use that one) "No biggie," I thought. (This should have been the part where we went home.) We began our walk to the other entrance hoping to find a cart there.

Along the way, Ollie stopped at the bank and got one of those color sheets. A tractor one. "Ahhh" I contentedly sighed. "This will be a good morning." We found a giant cart at the other entrance, loaded my purse, my bag of reusable bags, and Lily. When I tried to load Ollie, he threw a minor fit, kicking and saying "No, I want to walk!" I gently explained that no, he had to ride. He crumpled his color page and began hitting me with it. Calmly, I took the page, stuck it in my purse, and buckled him in. Crisis averted.

On to shopping. We went to the plastic tub aisle first. No big issues there, except the tub I got was pretty large, and had to sit in the bottom of the cart. I decided to just pile things in it and on top. On to the food. Ollie interrupted with "Mommy, I have to go potty!" Alright, a slight detour to the family restroom in back. I will add that getting INTO one of those things is not easy with a 10-foot long cart...but, being the trooper that I am, we did it. He went potty, we then headed to the food area.

By the time we were at the chips (not far, mind you) he was getting a bit rambunctious, trying to pull on Lily's seat. I tried to distract him with holding things or picking out things for me. It worked for a few minutes. By the time we were in the paper products aisle, Lily was crying. She was tired. I tried endlessly to distract her with her red bunny. As we're getting more and more food, I'm trying to fit it all in. (Remember the big tub?) I put a few things next to Ollie on the floor of the cart. After moving these items (because a certain boy was trying to open them, or kicked them OFF the cart) we moved on. We continued shopping with crying and grabbing...at about the bread aisle, Ollie says he has to go potty again. "No, you'll have to wait until we're finished," I responded. There was NO way I was going to try to get that cart into a bathroom at this point!

We loaded up our fruits and veggies, bread, and frozen goods and headed to the checkout counter. After I started unloading, Ollie says, "Mommy, my foot's wet." Why, of course it is. There's a large puddle of yellowish liquid on the bottom of the cart AND the floor. *sigh* I grab the wipes from my purse and wipe it up. We load all our groceries on the belt and pay and try to load them all back in. Only 3 or 4 things fell off on our way back to the car. We climb in, and drive home.

You think I'm finished, don't you? Nope.

Upon arriving home, Ollie goes inside and goes potty on the toilet. I begin putting stuff away. As I enter the pantry to give him some crackers for a snack, I put BOTH feet in a giant puddle of something. I ask, "Ollie, did you go potty on the floor?" He (wearing only a shirt at this point) calmly replies, "Yes I did." And then immediately adds, "Whooo will fight meee?" (quoting Goliath the Giant Pickle from the Veggies Tales video) *sigh* I wipe up that mess and get him eating his snack.

After putting things away, I feed Lily, put him in time-out for some random naughtiness, and finally get ready with lunch. We are eating happily. Once again, life seems good. After I finish, I start cleaning up stuff at the sink. When I turn around, Ollie is sitting on his stool, cup in between his legs, TRYING TO PEE IN HIS CUP OF MILK!!! Where did I go wrong with this child????? I take it away, send him to the bathroom, and clean up yet ANOTHER spill.

Thankfully, Joel came home soon after before I did something I'd regret. And I know you'll have a hard time believing me when I say that potty training is going well. Really. This is just one of those days. I don't even have to make this stuff up, people.

Oh, and those of you who talked with me at Walmart this morning? (Debby, Jim, Joyce, and Beth) I know things looked normal. You happened upon our FEW sane moments.